Why is Jesus always begging me for spare change?

Folks, believe it or not, Jesus has allready come back and only a few of us are aware of it. Look, I have seen the pictures of Jesus and this man I see on the Las Vegas strip is undeniably Jesus. He got the same hair, beard, eyes, and is even wearing the same robe. Unfortuneatly, Jesus is not in that great of shape. He looks rather disheveled, is missing teeth due to smoking crystal meth, and is currently homeless. Occasionally, I will give him a buck or two before I enquire as to what has happened to him. He told me that his sole purpose in coming back would be to punish the wicked and rescue the children of Christ, however his mission had taken a turn for the worse once he decided to try crystal meth. Since then, he has been doing everything in his power to support his addiction including prostitution, theft, and panhandling. He has scabs all over his face,rotten, teeth, has the appearance of a holocaust survivor, and is suffering from extreme paranoid delusions. At one point I began to cry as I thought about how much I used to look up to my lord. I guess his second coming did not exactly pan out the way he had expected it to.